Crimson Prose

Graduate.
Dead End Town.
18.
Artist aka Always broke.
most days I hate my enemies and i love my friends. sometimes i love my enemies
and i hate my friends. But i always both hate and love myself. i guess thats just how the world works. (sigh)

addicted to a slow death

disposed of night times

which one of us sleeps

i hate these weekends

but i play for keeps

cut up shirts and tattered sleeves

another night another drink

i can’t escape this

because it is me

i wasn’t where i was when i was this happily

suicidal

my friends are the ones that push me

my mind is the one that hates me

my body is poisoned daily

am i this fucked up maybe?

my mind is the one that pushes me

my body is the one that hates me

my friends are the ones that poison me

i guess i’m this fucked
up

definitely

the city of nowhere fast

we’re all fake

imposters and poster boys

for the number one sickness

america

america

the beautiful

life crippling disease

scratched up knees

and little girls yeah someone’s daughter

looking up begging

please oh please

i’ll do anything for an “A”

so just unzip those jeans

let me take you to a world

where you’ll know just what

fuck no means

i’m using you for power

using you for pleasure

its all another trip

fall face down

face down drowning in the water

oh

take another sip

take another drink

so i can pretend by doing the same thing

somehow it means i’m better than you

whether or not in a party

or a basement by yourself

we’re all just fucked

beyond just fucked up no

who am i who are you

how did we get this point of view

a fucked up world

and not a clue

how to save ourselves from you

parasites bloodshot eyes

broken bones

and shattered lights

who knows whats happened in between those thighs

i can’t remember anymore

fucked thoughts

fucked up dreams

i drink it differently

ends up the same

we kill ourselves one by one

the first one’s desperate

the last one’s fun

a chain reaction what to do

open up the bottle

and hope for something new

can’t feel my face

can’t feel my arms

i hope this last time

will be the death of me

i can’t feel my face

can’t feel my arms

another weekend without a direction

slit my throat just to get some attention

cover it up let it bleed

you hangout and we can see

the party lights have dried us up

there’s no one left

lets get fucked up

slit wrists and dotted i’s, open wounds and long night drives

most want to fuck i just want to know

if i’m a passing memory

or a constant day dream

i’d have to say the latter

is true for me

most want the one night stands

and side romances

i want to hold your hand

and spend all night dancing

i’m horrible at both

i know

i’m horrible at saying what i feel

but continued contact with those dead to me

have resurrected all those lost feelings

i see every night until i wake

and when i go this long it starts to ache

why oh why did you choose

i wouldn’t choose me as the best for you

but sometimes i like to be pleasantly suprised

oh well i guess i tried

but continued contact with the ones i hate

resurrected feelings and extreme distaste

i love you but i hate you and i don’t know what to say to

make you realize that looks can kill

so darling just fucking kill me

kill me darling fuck me

so darling just fucking kill me

kill me darling just fuck me

and i’ll never

never

complain again

Episodes of Bordello

i’ll be alice

and you’re like my white rabbit

scurrying across my dreamscape

so damn beautiful it hurts

you be just out of reach

i’ll be going nowhere it seems

and if this is growing up

i’ll take each day for as long as they last

driving on through fields and

dead end towns

each power line

is like the cross

each cross is another cut

each cut is another stream of blood

that connects me to you

swerving out of control

into hollow trees and oncoming

population

each heart beat pulse

is like my love

each beat is another drop

of liquor i ingested just

to forget about you

these alcoholic dreams

so fleeting yet it seems

the only time i can be myself

and be forever with

you

partners in crime

don’t be a waste of my time

I’ve sat here for five years waiting

don’t stick me back in line

for you to check out and maybe purchase

i’m not a oiled scented bar that’s open till you’re gone

so stick around and order up kid

cause this one is on the house

we have the darker sides to life

hidden behind our masks

now’s the perfect time to let yours out

but I didn’t have to ask

you’re so close to the answers that you’ve

yet to discover for yourself

so sit up straight and listen

this shit won’t fix itself

are we friends here or are we partners

you’re not so special as to choose both

a friend will be concerned about me

but us partners will meet in hell

I shouldn’t have drank

I shouldn’t have smoked

but in the end we all enjoyed it

you’ve gone too far to quit

and i’m not the only one that knows it

you can’t live without the buzz

the rush

the feeling that you’ll win

so do we stop the party now

and live in fear of sin

I say fuck it

we’ve had our chances

there is no turning back

i’m burning downstairs either

way

so what’ll it be

friends

or are we partners?

bloody martin

the next time you say you’re going to rape me

I’LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF

emotionally trying

every time

is bad timing

DON’T TRY TO TOUCH MY GENITALS YOU PIG

all i wanted was the pack of newports

and to forget about my problems

yeah YOU smokeD some meth

and your dick forced in my ass

won’t fucking solve them

the next time you say you’re going to rape me

I’LL CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND MAKE YOU FUCKING EAT IT

BLOOD AND CUM WILL MIX IN KIDDY POOLS

LIKE A SICK MARGARITA MIX

PUT SALT IN THE WOUND LIKE THE SALT ON THE GLASS

BLOOD ON THE GRASS I’M GETTING HIGH MOTHERFUCKER

THAT CHEM IN YOUR SYSTEM

THAT KNIFE IN YOUR RETINA

DO YOU SEE THE POINT

DO YOU SEE THE FUCKING POINT?

things are never what they seem

nearby suburbs and dead end towns

failed lessons taught to me when my mind

wasn’t around

i closed the doors

i shut the windows

i left the car running

while i fade through portals

opened up from exhaustion

exhaust it holds me up

then chokes me out

cuts in deep

then singles out

the reasons why i cry at night

the excuses that i’ve made

giving up giving in

you’ve let me down once again

with the small town mindset it settles in

and the city boy writing poems to impress his friends

burn both ends take the reprimands

we’ll hold hands as the tide rolls in

i buried my doubt with my dying kin

i’ll take you with me when this ends

first i’ve gotta ask where to begin?

no love no love

no job no money

sitting on my ass making days end 

with the gatherings and families smile

on say oh its just a phase

its just this phase you’re going through

only people that seem to bother you are the ones

you kept the secrets from

and it bugs me how my songs were sung

by different people ugly faces

stole my lyrics and got fucking famous

stole my ideas to get the laugh

i repeat it unknowing and they kick my ass

call me fake and fraud

just date some broad

never mind we think you’re just like us

when really all i’m living on is closet dust

mothballs and old sweaters

burnt out feelings and all the letters

i never sent i never told you what this meant

and the only people that understand

when blood is supposed to be

thicker than the words we spit

how can our families

disown sit disgusted in their homes

kick us out of will and forms

make us eat our words and want to kill ourselves

for being what they told us

yeah just be yourself

just be yourself

Sacrificed Salvation

omni-poet:

The pastor purged us of the homosexual devils
I decided to purge myself of the church
Heavenly father aren’t you proud of me?
I sacrificed my salvation for their equality
Father, isn’t that the essence of Christianity?
You told me all men are treated equally
Aren’t you proud of me? I did just like your son
So do I get to be with you and my brother

(via omni-poet)

i cover my self with images

and broken picture frames

naked girls and tilt o whirls

and everything in between

an effective disguise 

until you meet me 

and all the pornographic bullshit

just disgusts me

you’re beautiful its true

there’s no denying

would i spend a decade 

here on this couch

just naked and laying

with you staring up at the stars

and spilling all my secrets

i wish i was the man that my father

always wanted

but i can’t help the way i feel 

and i can’t help with what i’m wanting

and yeah you’re beautiful there’s no lying

i wish i could be the picture i cover myself with

i wish i was the lie i tell

just to keep my friends from running

i wish i want i need to feel

a sense of just belonging

but i’m not i can’t

i’m gay 

so fuck it

i’m a crying mess……fuck your standards

i have these nights where being wasted 

just isn’t an option

and all i want is for that special someone

to come out of the darkness 

and into my arms

hold me close now 

i’m falling apart

but the truth of it is just too much for you to take

i know that 

i know that

unrequited love is a bitch for the fallen

returning all these calls 

when i just can’t fall in line

with the rest of humanity 

humanity is dust 

humanity is normalcy 

and ditching who i am 

in favor of something

else

hide behind this mask to fulfill all the

requirements 

melted to my skin i can’t tell who i am

anymore kid i’m not just that poor kid

i’m still something more

still something more than this

and i want you to know

that this feeling isn’t just in passing

and i want you to know

that i miss you since that falling out

i have these nights where being wasted

just isn’t enough

and i fall to my knees 

feel like i’m about to explode 

and i can’t feel my chest

because you said ” i never want to see you again “